Miss Rumphius

My children and I read together quite a lot. I'm sure it's not the same for everyone, but I think I spend more time reading aloud than I spend making dinner.

My children have a tendency to ask for the same things over and over (Pippi, anyone?). Most of the time I go along with whatever they suggest.

But one day about a week ago, I didn't ask what they wanted. I just started in on Miss Rumphius. We had read it years ago -- Sass probably wasn't even a year old yet -- so neither of them remembered it. But this time, I think it may become one of the ones we read again and again.

As a young girl, Alice sits at her grandfather's knee in his seashore cottage and hears stories of his travels. Alice decides that's just what she wants -- to travel, then to live in a little house by the sea. Her grandfather agrees that these are wonderful aspirations, but he asks her to add one more -- find a way to make the world a more beautiful place.

For days afterward, the children and I talked about making the world more beautiful, about what exactly did "the world" mean. How far does "the world" reach? Does it have to be something physically beautiful, or can it mean beautiful thoughts or deeds? It sparked excellent discussions, and it helped them start to think of things from a much larger perspective.

I just picked up the book on a whim that day, never expecting that it would give rise to those kinds of discussions. But I'm glad it did.

Day of Dad

In honor of my dad on Father's Day, a reposting of his Dad-isms.

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My dad is quite a character, particularly when it comes to his speech. He's truly part of the old South, and his language is as colorful as any you can imagine.

He has quite a few phrases that I consider "his." Here are a few of them, along with a translation for those who haven't had the pleasure of hearing them in person.

Phrase: You ain't done it.
Meaning: I know you're fibbing, so 'fess up. (Doesn't have to refer to a particular activity; can also refer to thoughts or ideas.)

Phrase: What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?
Meaning: You've brought in excess drivel. Get back to the topic at hand.

Phrase: Six of one, half a dozen of another.
Meaning: Whatever. It's all semantics. Also, it doesn't matter.

Phrase: What about it?
Meaning: Hey, how's it going?

Phrase: I said if this weather continues there's going to be a whole lot of it.
Meaning: I didn't want you to hear what I said. (He always says this if you ask him to repeat something.)

Phrase: Me neither too also.
Meaning: Yeah; I agree with that.

Phrase: I don't know. My brother went to school that day.
Meaning: I don't know the answer.

Phrase: You stepped in what?
Meaning: I didn't hear what you said.

Life Expectancy

Have you seen this Life Expectancy Calculator?

It's got to be wrong. Mine ended up being 92 with a virtual age of 19! HA!

But I suppose I can look forward to being old and carrying my hearing aid around in a box like my Memaw does.

I don't know that Skeeter would agree

86 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Shamelessly lifted from Mrs. C at Homeschool and Etc.

Summer SAD

Most people have heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), commonly known around here as the "winter blues."

Winter has never bothered me. In fact, I love it. I know that we don't have the harsh winters that other parts of the country do, but our winter is perfect for me. Once the cooler temperatures start, I feel as if I'm emerging from a cocoon of sorts.

Just today I found out that there is a summer SAD as well, a reverse of the usual SAD. This article about summer SAD in the New York Times is several years old, but it puts a personal face on the problems associated with the disorder.

I get headaches from direct late afternoon sunlight. Not the usual "oh, my head hurts" headache, but the non-localized "oh, I feel sick" headache that can last for hours afterward. Morning sunlight doesn't bother me too much, but the afternoon sun feels so intense that I try to avoid going out then unless I know I won't be in the direct light.

The problem has become worse as I've gotten older, especially in the last few years. And to be honest, I always thought that it was odd. I've never even mentioned it to anyone except my husband because I was more than a little embarrassed by it. Now I'm wondering if there's more to it.

Earworms

Earlier today Skeeter sent me this article on "earworms." No, they're not strange Star Trekian bugs. An earworm is that little musical melody that gets stuck in your head and just will not go away.

Ah, the memories.

When Skeeter and I were in our early marriage days, each of us would make a decided effort to infect each other with those earworms. Sometimes it was blatant, singing at the top of our lungs. More often it was a subtle background humming or singing that one could barely discern on a conscious level. Those would get us every time. Each would find the other person singing or humming whatever annoying song had been chosen.

Is it bragging to say I was brilliant at it? I was. My favorites were show tunes and children's music, mostly because I knew Skeeter couldn't let the guys at work know what music was going through his head. "Hello Dolly" was always a winner, as was "Interplanet Janet."

Little does Skeeter know that sending me that article just opened up a whole new can of earworms for him. It's 12 years and two children later. I'm armed and ready with a whole new set of songs.

"This is the song that doesn't end . . . ."

For the Austen fans

A portrait of Thomas Lefroy is to be for sale soon. Lefroy is rumored to be the inspiration for Pride and Prejudice's Mr Darcy.

(As an aside, I'm currently reading Letters from Pemberly, a modern "sequel" to Pride and Prejudice.)

Remembering

My children loved this. And they still do. We sang it in the car just yesterday.

Things I learned about myself this weekend

Skeeter took the children to a fishing rodeo this weekend. Originally it was just going to be an activity for Skeeter and Spyder, but Sass decided she'd like to go as well. And off they went.

That left me at home -- alone -- for more than two hours. I had no idea what to do. Seriously. I love being alone. I always have. But I haven't had the opportunity to be at home completely alone for more than a couple of hours in, oh, 10 years.

Skeeter (with children) and I (without) parted company at church, after the vacation bible school program and carnival. When I got home, I truly had no idea what to do. No little hands pulling at me. No one asking for something. I sat on the couch in the silence for a while, enjoying the emptiness.

Over the next 18 hours, I did all of the normal things that I do on Friday night and Saturday morning. I folded laundry; I did the dishes; I took a load of things to the thrift store. It wasn't until Skeeter and the children were on the way home that I realized something important.

I have abandoned my hobbies. I used to make soap and do scrapbooking. I was never emotionally attached to the activities, but I did enjoy them. I haven't touched my supplies for either hobby in at least two years. Once I found myself presented with an opportunity to do them, I didn't know where to begin.

I'm not sure where to go from here, but that was a real eye-opener.

Kung Fu Panda

I am almost ashamed to admit how excited I was to see Kung Fu Panda.

Sass wanted to see it too, but Spyder? He has now become too cool for "kid movies" now that he's practically an adult. A 10-year-old adult. Yeah. I thought that too.

Thankfully, my friend Brenda was just as excited about it, so we dragged all of our urchins to my favorite movie theatre to see it with us. I probably shouldn't mention that it was the first showing on opening day. But hey, if we had gone to the second show, we would have shared the theatre with a day camp of 300 preschoolers.

(Not kidding about the preschoolers. Or that we went to the first showing.)

So. The movie. I didn't check any reviews before I saw it, so I only knew what I had seen on the trailers.

(Skeeter is a little bit of a fanatic when it comes to watching movie trailers, so I've probably seen them all.)

I prefer walking in not really knowing what to expect, but I'll admit that I did have high hopes for it. I wasn't disappointed. It was exactly what I was wanted it to be -- a clever comedic action movie that's good for the family. It didn't stoop to the potty-humor or the innuendos that are funny for adults, but not really appropriate for children. I didn't cringe when watching it with my children -- not once -- and that was wonderful.

Sass loved it, despite that she only got to sit with Olivia for part of the movie. Some large-haired adult sat directly in front of her right before the movie started. She only lasted about 20 minutes in that seat before she got tired of leaning to the left to be able to see.

Considering that Spyder left the theatre busting kung fu moves with Ryan, I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it too.

So go see it, and let me know how you liked it.

A tale of five players

Skeeter and I have had an interesting line of experiences with our DVD players.

Being the wannabe techno-geek that he is, he bought one of the early DVD players. One of the multi-disc DVD players. I've never understood those. What kind of lazy person needs three DVDs in at once? At any rate, it was expensive. He never actually confessed how much it was. Not long afterward, he broke it by putting more than one DVD in a slot. As if the three slots wasn't enough already. I have to admit though -- the remote for that DVD player was awesome.

The second DVD player was the same brand, but we slummed it with only one DVD slot. The advantage to having the same brand was that I was able to use Remote #1 with it. Rock on! It was a good DVD player. We used it for at least 8 years, then *poof* it started playing DVDs in black and white. I passed it to a friend who said he could probably fix it. He kept it for 10 months.

So we bought DVD player #3. It worked well for a while, but then it started getting all picky on us. It just simply wouldn't play some movies. "Mulan? Oh, no. I don't think so. But I'll let you watch Annie. Again." I love Annie. Carol Burnett is just brilliant as Miss Hannigan. But I can only watch it so many times before terrible things begin to happen.

Because Player #3 was so picky-picky, we got DVD player #4, a cheap little thing. That player isn't so picky about what plays, but it is horribly picky about scratches. Scratched DVD = freeze-frames. Very distracting. Very. Distracting.

About the time we were thinking about replacing Player #3 or Player #4, the friend brought over a repaired Player #2. Yay! A DVD player that actually plays DVDs! How novel!

All went along well for about a year, then . . . poor old Player #2. He still was fine with playing the DVDs, but he started playing them in black and white again. At that point, Skeeter and I thought that perhaps it was time to give up our old favorite.

After moaning about it for a week or so, we did a search at Circuit City and found one, probably middle-of-the-line, and decided we'd just buy it. And we did.

You know, after all of that, it makes all of us appreciate a DVD player that plays any DVD we want -- and in color!

It's the little things

The internet has returned. I think I've gotten accustomed to those times when our ISP decides to stop working because it really didn't bother me all that much. I did have to make a couple of unplanned trips to the library to use the computer there, but really it wasn't so bad.

But today the library website was down. All day. Still is. That is bothering me more than when our whole ISP dissed us.

This week is vacation bible school at church. Skeeter and I aren't volunteering this year, so we have whole two child-free hours every evening. Tonight Skeeter made a playlist for his Zen -- a loud playlist -- that he can play during his root canal tomorrow. And I? I went to Office Max without the posse. I have a deep and healthy love for office supplies, so it was a beautiful experience.

Skeeter took me to the cell phone place a couple of days ago, and we looked at Blackberry and Blackberry-type phones. Now that we're actually looking, I'm overwhelmed by all of the options and possibilities.

And while I'm rambling on, let's talk Ben and Jerry. Have you tried the new flavors? Skeeter is in love with the Cake Batter ice cream. I'm having a hard time deciding whether I prefer the new Imagine Whirled Peace or my old favorite, Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream.

And now, I'll set the coffee for tomorrow morning and officially go off-duty.

That darn ISP

Our internet is out. Again. It's been out since yesterday morning, sometime after we left for church.

It had been working so well for so long that it was completely unexpected. So for now, I can only access the internet through Skeeter's work computer late at night or through the library.

So it's not that I don't want to post or read blogs. I do! But don't expect me soon.

*sigh*

You're seeing what?

Last night we took the children to see Horton Hears a Who at the bargain theatre across town. Cute movie, and definitely worth the trip to the bargain theatre.

Sass has the worst time remembering the name of that particular movie though. I've no idea why. She loves Dr Seuss, and we've read the Horton books. But some reason, she just can't get the name of that one quite right.

So yesterday when we were at the store, Sass had a conversation with a lady about our planned movie outing. (Yes, my children strike up conversations with random strangers; it's just what they do.) The conversation started as usual --

"We're going to see a movie tonight!"

"That sounds nice. What movie?"

Then, divergence.

"We're seeing "H.oo.ter Hears a Honk."

(Nice lady does double take, looks at me.) "You're seeing what?"

What she said

Today's post is courtesy of PEZmama, who is blogless for the moment. I'm trying to convince her to take it up again. Help me out, y'all.

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Humor Writing Part I: The Emphatic “Yo.”

I know the story. I was a blogger myself. You’ve got something to say, and you want your readers to laugh, but you’re just not sure you can pull off the humor. Before you resort to using bad puns and too. many. periods. may I make a suggestion?

The emphatic “yo” might be your answer.

But be warned: the emphatic “yo” isn’t for everyone.

I hear you out there: How do I know if the emphatic “yo” is right for me?

Well, I’m glad you asked because I have developed a simple test to help you determine that very thing. All you have to do is read the following sentence out loud:

What are you talking about?

Now. How many T’s did you just pronounce?

If you said three, then the emphatic “yo” is for you.

Why? Because humor at it’s best isn’t just about saying something funny. It's also something unexpected. It doesn’t surprise anyone to hear “yo” from a person who would normally say “wud’r you talking abou(-uh)?” That kind of person is casual with her language. “Yo,” also a casual word, isn’t funny when she says it, because no one is surprised to hear it.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, I write. On a blog. My readers can’t hear me pronouncing my T’s.

So let’s look at this metaphorically, okay?

If you’ve written any statement akin to it’s Monday, my day to clean out the refrigerator, then your readers know that you pronounce your T’s.

If you’ve told your readers about the elaborate, color-coded Excel chart that you use for scheduling your family’s activities, and encouraged them to make one of their own, then you pronounce your T’s.

If the menu plan that you are (likely) posting every week contains entrees with more than two words in their names, then you pronounce your T’s. (You know who you are, all you “braised chicken with mango-pineapple salsa” freaks.)

If you have already determined what unit studies you will be doing with your children over the summer, then you pronounce your T’s. (And probably your ING’s as well.)

So, if you have done (or secretly wish to) any of those things, then I think you could really pull off the emphatic “yo” and get the laugh you were looking for. But you have to do it carefully. You can’t just throw it in there all willy-nilly.

Here are a few tips:
1. For heaven’s sake, don’t use a stupid pun: I bought a Duncan yo-yo, yo! Believe me, this is not funny.

2. Don’t go overboard. Use the “yo” only once. More than that and it’s like listening to your kid tell a knock-knock joke for the twelfth time. It makes people want to poke out their eyeballs.

3. Don’t go all homey on us. None of that word to y’ motha’ garbage.

4. Nine times out of ten, it’s funniest at the END of a sentence. What gives it the extra punch is when it comes at the end of something that you really would say: Tonight I am making braised chicken with mango-pineapple salsa, yo! (Did you catch it? Totally unexpected = funny.)

So, try the emphatic “yo” the next time you want to say something funny. And, because I live to serve, I’m going to give you this final tip, free of charge. Throw this one at your readers and they’re going to crown you the queen of comedy. When your readers (inevitably) start making comments like “LOL! Did you just say ‘yo’?” you just tell them,

What can I say? ‘Das how I roll.

I guarantee they'll be falling off their chairs. Yo.

Laughter is good

Why did that chicken cross the road?

There are more answers than you ever realized!

Kentucky

Now, time to tell about the vacation!

While Bowling Green, Kentucky doesn't exactly sound like the most exciting place for a vacation, it was absolutely a blast, and I definitely recommend it.

Skeeter and I chose it because it fit all of the criteria that we discussed before we started exploring options:

• We had never been to that state before (crossing another one off the life list).
• Drive time was less than 8 hours each way.
• There was stuff to see that we definitely couldn't see near home.
  
• We could stay at a Drury Inn.
  

You laugh at that last one, but it's true. It was on the list, although (confession!) I didn't even tell Julie that at the time. We've stayed there before, and it's good for a relatively inexpensive hotel (less than $100 a night). Free breakfast every morning, free snacks and cocktails every evening. No complaints here. I highly recommend it.

Day One: Arrival

Julie and family had a much longer drive, so we got there quite a bit earlier than they did. We took advantage of the empty hotel pool and let the children swim for several hours. We also did a bit of exploring around the hotel, including Target. I'm a Targetoholic. I always have to check out the Target.

Day Two: The Lost River Cave

The river is actually in Ripley's Believe It or Not for being the deepest and shortest river in the world, but it's been found to be untrue since then. As the guide said, it is "believe it or not."

The guide did an excellent job in explaining the history of the area, including using the cave as a dance club in the early 20th century. It was closed at one point because a law was passed that forbade selling drinks below street level. (??) It has been reopened though, and it is now a popular spot for weddings and proms.

The grounds are lovely, and there is a butterfly garden as well. Our zoo had a butterfly garden at one time, but it's been closed. Spyder remembers it vaguely, and Sass doesn't remember it at all, so the butterfly garden was a fun experience for them.

After the Lost River Cave, we decided to hit the thrift shops. I am all about a thrift shop, and Julie found a good one for us. She came away with loads of stuff, and I found a hot pink bowling bag (Von Dutch, a new brand for me). People were making fun of my bag, but hey, I like it.

Day Three: Kentucky Down Under

If you do only one thing in that area, Kentucky Down Under is it. Absolutely, hands down. It really is an interactive, hands-on zoo featuring Australian animals that we can't see anywhere around here. And really, how many places can you actually pet a kangaroo?


At Kentucky Down Under we also

• milked a cow
• fed a lamb
• fed the lorikeets and other birds
  
• toured a cave

Seriously, Kentucky Down Under was awesome.

Day Four: National Corvette Museum, L&N Train Museum

I admit -- I was reluctant to go to the Corvette Museum. It's not really my thing. But the museum was really well done, in such a way that the history of the brand is just as interesting as the mechanics. And there are just some fun-looking cars. My favorite? The police car called the "Crimefighter Corvette."

The L&N Museum was one that Skeeter and I enjoyed, but I don't think anyone else did. The museum has both the traditional museum in the train depot and a tour of four different train cars. The museum part is first, then the rail cars. In retrospect, I think it would have been better to tour the cars first, simply because it gives a better perspective of what is showcased in the museum. The rail cars are absolutely the model of efficiency, simply because of necessity. One of the most interesting things we discovered -- Bisquick was invented by a train cook. After having toured the kitchen rail car, I can completely understand why. It's just another example of required efficiency.

Day Five: Leaving

So sad. We had so much fun, and it was even more wonderful that we got to spend time with good friends. I think we're going to take another shared vacation like this. Julie gets to choose the destination next time though.

Sweet kitty

Sweet kitty doesn't have a name (that I know), but he's still safe at the neighbor's house. Thanks for making me feel better about crawling around in the rain to find him.

Oh, to give you an idea how hard it was raining? I hung my clothes over the bathtub to dry, since it was late and I didn't want to wash that night. The next morning when I went to get them to wash, they were still wet. Not damp. WET.

Back

So, where was I? Why, vacationing, of course!

We spent several days in and around Bowling Green, Kentucky. Why Kentucky? Well, why not? Skeeter had been there many years ago for work, but the children and I had never been. There was no deep thought put into it, just a new place to explore.

And we had oodles of fun. Plus my friend Julie and her family were able to join us, so it was even more fun because we were with friends.

That whole kitten escapade has left me exhausted, so the details will follow tomorrow.

How do I get myself into these things?

Today I heard a kitty outside the bedroom window.

Skeeter and I went out to find him, and he was sitting under the holly bushes, shaking with fear and mewling like mad. He was a cute little grey and white kitty, definitely old enough to be weaned, but not much older than that.

We checked on him several times during the day, and he was always right next to the house under the holly bushes. We set out water for him, and I went to the store for kitty food.

He disappeared for a while, but he showed up again later, during a big and unexpected storm that came up at sunset. The poor little guy was mewling again, so Skeeter and I decided to see if we could find him, just to give him some shelter from the storm. The next door neighbors heard him as well, and they came to help.

So it ended up with the six of us (Skeeter, me, and the four neighbors) crawling in the holly bushes, then through the privet hedge, for nearly an hour in the pouring rain to rescue the kitty. The neighbors finally caught him in their back yard and were able to dry him off and put him safely in the garage. A bit later I took the bag of kitty food over for him, and one of the neighbors told me that we had scared away a raccoon that had been stalking the little guy since nightfall.

The children were so disappointed that we didn't bring the kitty home with us. That was never really an option though, since we're all horribly allergic.

During the middle of the search and rescue, I had to laugh about it. Skeeter and I were out in the dark, in the rain, crawling through the holly bushes to rescue a homeless kitty that couldn't stay with us anyway.

No, it doesn't exactly sound sane to me either, but I'm still glad we did.