A conversation the day after I worked:
ME: Good morning, man! Did you miss me last night?
SPYDER: We went to the movies with Dad.
ME: Oh, so are you saying you didn't miss me?
SPYDER: We like it when you go to work. Dad takes us out. And buys us the good snacks at the movies. We do miss you, but it all evens out.
So apparently, my contributions to the household are the equivalent of M&Ms and Junior Mints.